The saddest part of family violence and the legal abuse syndrome is the impact on children, both on them and in them. If a child separated from their parents' protective measures is a silent epidemic of life for the child is no longer the same.
First, they are led to believe that the protective effect of parental leave. For this reason, they concluded that these protective parents "do not really love."
The result of this thinking is: on a core level, they are not lovable.Well, that's a big burden to bear for a child.
However, trying children as adults, of course, to resolve the cognitive dissidence from this inner dilemma. Before I proceed to develop further, we want to take a step back and define cognitive dissidence.
What is cognitive dissidence?
"Cognitive dissidence" is a psychological term that refers to the stress state in which our "beliefs", "feelings" and "actions" are not congruent. That is, if these three aspects of theour existence are not in the sink.
For example, a child (let's say a little boy thinks) that (his mother, often leaving the person in this situation) it. Nevertheless, he feels deep in his being her loving connection to him and his search for her, and his actions to her. Ouch!
The tension rises as it stays internal disharmony. So, what happens then? The psyche tries to disharmony with the attempt to cover the three elements ... to solve reconcile.
AsDid we solve cognitive dissidence?
Typically this is through a redefinition of each of these elements as we once did calculate a mathematical operation. How can it be redefined? As with most things in life, one moves to the direction of the loudest voice, the more common input, the more "in-your-face" perspective.
I bet you get the way the child has the cognitive dissidence in this situation resolved. With mother physically out of the picture and father (plus itswhole family) the current input and ability to regulate the child the entire wage system, the child will do what?
Obviously, the child will leave the faith of the standard set, and both feelings and actions will follow, in order to harmonize all three so as to reflect the dominant power input. And with that, move to resolve the cognitive dissidence.
Long-term risk for the Puppet Child
But here the risk is later in life for the child. If the child modifies the actionit can be as much external, positive reinforcement, this is almost effortless. Beyond New Action - mom.
But the feeling part, well, that the part that tricks you every time. Even if the child will love the feeling for his mother at least externally swallow these feelings lie dormant. And the result is an incomplete resolution of cognitive dissidence ... a "puppet child."
Now I wish there was an upbeat, hopeful course for this purposeArticle, but I'm afraid there is not. However, there are some pieces of advice I can with anyone who is estranged from a parent, or share a doll baby.
It's not about you! Your experience of your inner well-being must demand that your child's efforts to solve his / her cognitive dissonance any way other than how it is.
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