If you find yourself in a relationship with an abusive partner, you may wonder how you could have possibly gotten there. Most of the time, abusive partners gradually retain more and more control in the relationship and become more emotionally and physically abusive. Because of this progression, you are trained to tolerate more and more disrespect, until you are not sure how to handle domestic violence in the relationship.
Regaining Control
One of the first steps that you have to take is to educate yourself on what is appropriate behavior from your partner. Often, you become so accustomed to accepting disrespectful behavior and the manipulation involved that it makes you feel like you deserve it. When that happens, you have trouble recognizing what constitutes respect from another person. Once you learn to recognize inappropriate behavior for what it is, you are on your way to overcoming domestic violence.
The next step in how to handle domestic violence in relationships is to learn what words and consequences to use with the abusive partner. The abusive partner is accustomed to controlling every aspect of your life, and is 'rewarded' for his behavior with fear and submission from you. When you learn to recognize the disrespectful behavior, you can also learn to call it what it is and walk away, thus removing yourself from the situation.
The reason that this step is effective in learning how to handle domestic violence is that it gives the abuser negative reinforcement when he acts inappropriately. Since you walk away, there is no longer anyone to control, manipulate, or vent his anger on, so the abuser is forced to deal with his feelings of inadequacy. In addition, it gives you power and keeps you safe from harm by allowing you to tell the abuser for the first time what you will not tolerate in the relationship any longer.
By implementing these steps in the abusive relationship, you can learn how to handle domestic violence and regain control of your life. In addition, it gives the abuser a chance to make a change in his behavior to save the relationship.
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