Domestic violence attorney

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Legal Domestic Violence - 3 Secrets of Divorce Lawyer's Seduction Strategy With Battered Women

Oftentimes battered women leave abusers only to find out that they are in an abusive relationship with their own divorce lawyer. And unfortunately, many spend as long awakening to this reality as they did admitting the abuse they endured by their former intimate partner.

Here are some seduction strategies that divorce attorneys use with battered women. You will benefit by knowing these strategies if you are looking for legal representation or if you feel that your attorney is not serving your best interest.

1) Tell you exactly what you want to hear, before the retainer is paid. Yes, you heard me. He/she will promise you the moon, just like the prince charming that you are divorcing.

2) Isolate you from all other sources of support outside of his/her influence and control. Counsel will directly, or indirectly, insist that you not utilize any professional resources that he/she cannot influence, manipulate and ultimately control.

3) Groom a relationship atmosphere of dominance and dependency. Your counsel will require that you are "contained," which is a polite word for following his/her direction even when it fails to support a favorable outcome for your case.

Your dependency is a natural outcome of your lawyer isolating and dominating you. Once you have become accustomed to having no other sources of professional support AND expect counsel to see your case through in a way that serves his/her original promise, then the domination is established.

Now this doesn't mean that all divorce attorneys operate in this fashion. There are some diamonds in the rough. And your job is to find them, and to see those seducing you to their advantage as just another opportunity for you to be abused.

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Sunday, January 2, 2011

How to Handle Domestic Violence - Steps to Take Back Your Life

If you find yourself in a relationship with an abusive partner, you may wonder how you could have possibly gotten there. Most of the time, abusive partners gradually retain more and more control in the relationship and become more emotionally and physically abusive. Because of this progression, you are trained to tolerate more and more disrespect, until you are not sure how to handle domestic violence in the relationship.

Regaining Control

One of the first steps that you have to take is to educate yourself on what is appropriate behavior from your partner. Often, you become so accustomed to accepting disrespectful behavior and the manipulation involved that it makes you feel like you deserve it. When that happens, you have trouble recognizing what constitutes respect from another person. Once you learn to recognize inappropriate behavior for what it is, you are on your way to overcoming domestic violence.

The next step in how to handle domestic violence in relationships is to learn what words and consequences to use with the abusive partner. The abusive partner is accustomed to controlling every aspect of your life, and is 'rewarded' for his behavior with fear and submission from you. When you learn to recognize the disrespectful behavior, you can also learn to call it what it is and walk away, thus removing yourself from the situation.

The reason that this step is effective in learning how to handle domestic violence is that it gives the abuser negative reinforcement when he acts inappropriately. Since you walk away, there is no longer anyone to control, manipulate, or vent his anger on, so the abuser is forced to deal with his feelings of inadequacy. In addition, it gives you power and keeps you safe from harm by allowing you to tell the abuser for the first time what you will not tolerate in the relationship any longer.

By implementing these steps in the abusive relationship, you can learn how to handle domestic violence and regain control of your life. In addition, it gives the abuser a chance to make a change in his behavior to save the relationship.

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