The High Functioning Narcissist

It is easy to come to abuse the spot, when it is in the package of a man who stays up all night, drinks, takes drugs, is obviously affairs is irresponsible with money, can not keep a job, and shows both verbal and physical ill-treatment at home. Men with such properties can also be labeled or diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder because they take no responsibility for their behavior or, as other effects in their lives. Although her life looks messy from thePartners term covers the narcissistic personality and his behavior by dismissing it focused instead on the faults of his partner. Although this type of narcissist can be a complete and utter failure in the real world in his imaginary world, he is destined for greatness and used promises and a great commercial success by presenting his partner in. But after many years, and nothing changes the hook keep partners begin to realize that they are not built on empty promises and a lifeinitiated change.

With the high functioning narcissist, the story is quite different. It is often very responsibly in the real world, has a good job, owns his own business, good with money management, has good credit has his own house, is very intelligent and creative, they can have long-term marriage or relationship stories, involved with his children are aware of the excellent care he takes physically and can also be a prominent member of society, the church, or involvedpersonal or spiritual growth.

Narcissist with a high functioning, it is difficult to recognize the abuse and dysfunction. believe, in fact partners for this kind of narcissistic personality often, they are the problem. Even when doing the high narcissistic functioning, he had an extramarital affair believe will make his partner, they pushed him to do so. Sometimes it is even the partners of Narcissus, which is led to an affair, because they do not get their needs met at home. Thisis not surprising, because regardless of his appearance in society, their needs are not important to him. In fact, they are a real nuisance.

In my case I had two relationships with high-functioning narcissists. They were both calm, cool and collected, most of the time, while I was an emotional basket case. In addition to her "perfect" look, I stammered, with my hand shows the imperfection, frequent illness, depression, mood swings and inability to abstain in the work function in the package.

II came to realize with a narcissistic personality had to do after I left the first relationship. I was a mess for six months and did not seem to get better. At the suggestion of a friend I have visited another therapist, she advised me that I told my ex was a narcissist! She had not met and do not tell him: "He may be a narcissist," she told me flat out that I have to do with a narcissist. They obviously had enough experience to recognize the symptoms in the partner countriesA high functioning narcissist. Armed with this new knowledge I have set out to heal from the finest type of abuse that I had ever experienced.

When dealing with these highly intelligent, high functioning narcissistic personalities they constantly playing a trick, and even brainwashing its partners once again confirms the assumption that the partner is the problem. The partner experience loss of energy, loss of personal power, diminishing self-esteem and ultimately the loss of theirAbility to function in the world. She has completely lost her touch with reality and is in reality the narcissistic been absorbed. Normally she comes to realize their partner was under the narcissistic relationship has fallen apart. At that time she has often been by someone he considers as "with their act together", since replaced the former partner was not obvious. This only contributes to their feelings of worthlessness.

When I look back on my two narcissisticRelationships I recognize that both men initially really admired me and wanted to be for my "light at me." But once I was on my "light" or life force, energy drained, he began to lose interest in me. He never took responsibility for one of the themes in the relationship.There was a subtle form of control is. He had no "real friends" of his own so he followed me in my social situations, and retired to watch in the sidelines, my interaction with my friends. He would come homeafter work, because to do otherwise. He drew his artistic expression to socialization. This is what allows him to shine and be admired by others.

Neither of my ex's had great social skills, but seemed to feed on instead of my contacts. And feed is an appropriate term because it seemed they felt themselves superior to most of the people I interacted with. But because of my move as a musical performer, I was initially placed in a high position, raised, admired, revered,attentively listened to, and eaten with a sexual passion.

Of course, my ego loved nature, with much attention and affection showered, especially since I do not feel I got a lot in my childhood. I was a perfect mate for this idealistic Narcissus's who gained a sense of self-esteem as a result of strengthened in my presence. However, if I do ever met expressed dissatisfaction in the relationship, or anything to do with my needs in our Union, he wouldrespond with a put-down to me to see, rather than the possibility that he may contribute to the problem. Normally I am a experienced speechlessness, the feeling never really seen or heard what I had already learned as a child. So instead of saying that I deserve to be saw me and heard, I would in these familiar old emotions that reminds me that I do not really worthy enough to really visible Lot.

The stage was the only place I was allowed to shine and be seen really. Itwas my only true platform where I could express myself and to be heard.

Having a real voice within a narcissistic relationship never possible. I could not express anger or dissatisfaction without the typical accusations with PMS or hostile. Narcissistic behavior is crazy and it shocked us, but we can not safely express our inner rage, without being subject to accusations of our many mistakes, or the issue of our concerns ignoredAnd focused on is our response to the question addressed.

I had an affair once loved from my own deep need to be treated friendly. This was started to fall apart after my second narcissistic relationship. He came to me when I got home, stay out all night and asked me where I was. I told him the truth! He broke in tears and asked me why I would do this for us and I had the horrible experience, witness my own reckless behavior, the effect on this man Iloved. I told him I felt very sorry and do not deserve. I told him that I am entitled to time because our relationship was in trouble, but I felt now realize how wrong that was and I would never do it again as long as even the appearance of us being together. I think I felt worse than he, because I am ashamed of my own behavior was done.

However, the tide had turned, I'm sure I could just as guilty. It would have been my fault and I would still beThe focus of the conversation. It would, as he was pushed to it because of the way I treated him and how he could not allow himself to get close to me because he could not trust me to do. He wanted to attack me in order to alleviate his guilt and have no compassion on my experience of betrayal.

That's who is not the difference between a narcissistic personality. A narcissist can not put into his partner's shoes. He can not imagine what it might be on the otherSide of the situation. He can only see it from his own perspective, a perspective that makes him completely off the hook and puts 100% of responsibility to his partner.

In my situation, my case only validated his opinion of me as implausible. He had me as never before, when we would fight and he would push all the responsibility on me, I would withdraw from the relationship trustworthy. I woke from my own self-preservation. Sometimes I've ended the relationshipentirely of my own frustration. But I have still further to the relationship, and he would welcome me back with open arms and for a brief moment all was forgotten. For a short time, I was nice to him again and he was affectionate towards me.

The cycle continues until I just could not endure more and finally I ended the relationship for the last time when he realized that I seriously this time, his narcissistic devaluation and rejection of me began. The horror that I experiencedwithin the relationship was not leaving in comparison to the devastation. It was during this time that I have the true knowledge that I had been living a lie and had invested years of my life was the enforcement of this illusion. Suddenly, his view of the consistent partner gave way to anger that I had never seen before with him, but intuitively I felt it was always there. He cut off all contact with me, even though we lived on the same property. He ignored me and treated me asIf I was invisible, what I most hated. I was with him and the process by the end of the relationship, as I had done, to communicate in other, healthier relationships, but the door was closed to me. There would be no closure.

The second time I found myself in a narcissistic relationship, which I suspected I was dealing with narcissism, once again, especially since I had studied it for years. One might wonder how I could have missed it or why I stayed so long. If youever heard the story of the boiling pot in which a frog is placed in a boiling pot, and it jumps but if it dies instead of a frog in a pot with cold water and bring it slowly to the boil the frog. The temperature change is so slow that he does not realize what's going on.

When I entered the second relationship, the water was cool and there were no obvious signs of narcissism. In fact, in many ways he was different than the first. My first narcissistic partner was emotionally closedand the second was to open up emotionally, an enormous difference. But what I found was that the open was emotionally vulnerable to emotional explosions, the volcano and I could sense the onset of the preparation. But flared again after he did not always have a hand was on me. He knew better. Instead he filled in bottles and gave me the silence. I would hear him banging boards and doors and swearing but he never touched me. He was high functioning! There was never any real evidenceof abuse. The abuse was like the frog in the pot. It was so subtle and slow that I do not recognize it as abuse until I was awakened from my illusion and realize the water is boiling. I jumped out just in time to save my life.

The abuse came in the form of constant invalidation of my reality until I had exhausted my own reality. I lost confidence in myself and my ability to know what the truth was in any given situation. I was dependent on him so for his version of reality, I couldMake sense of what was going on in my life. In the end he told me he wanted me out of his house, and I said "Wait a minute! This is my house!" He said "No it's not!" It was then I noticed how things happened to the touch. There was no way he going to convince me that this was his house. We bought them together. It was ours! How long I had him, I allow to undermine and to impose his version of reality to me? How long I had been slowly leaking my strength and energy toThis false illusion?

In my two narcissistic relationship, I was immediately replaced, which surprised me because I have a belief that we had this deep bond that developed soul was irreplaceable. And perhaps on some level, it was indispensable! For though they moved fast, not long their new situations. Perhaps the new found partner of dysfunction early and were not ready to jump, so in my old shoes. Maybe I was special to them, because I an ignorant frog,Who just do not realize when the temperature rose. Perhaps because it was through them all, I am giving a very nice man with love and her cup was too shallow to contain it. Maybe after all is said and done they realize that I really loved her and their fantasies that someone else could not easily fill my shoes can measure true reality.

I'll never really know the truth, believe what they think or feel. All I know is my truth andThis is what is important. I've learned to trust myself and my inner voice that guides me on my way. Now I can spot a high functioning narcissist is not necessarily far away, but up close and personal. There are two characters: He does not believe he is at fault for anything. He has a certain air of superiority. There are other obvious signs like a proud posture, eccentricity, a chara matic presence, confident look, intensive and invasive sexual energy, an informalInterest in me to get something they want in some I see the need to constantly talk about themselves, others are quiet and introverted.

The main finding equipment is the way I feel. I feel anxious, drained, on guard, inadequate, frustrated and confused. I think, listen, these are the kind of characters that we need the most. How do we feel? Once we learn to our own feelings we to trust the sale of our reality for the narcissistic illusion. It is then we are able to nameto play back our power and stop in the hands of one who is not our best interest at heart.

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