It was eleven weeks since it happened. Seventy-three days since I answer the call with the news that my niece is unthinkable "missing under mysterious circumstances." I am now receive stumble through time, try to believe the unbelievable. Details of the case "continues to come together, like the corners of an origami. But rather than create some decorative form, an eerie image. have accumulated in the course of weeks, it has enough evidence to arrestAnne's estranged boyfriend, James. Although they found yet, he has been charged with first-degree murder. He remains in custody: bail was set at one million dollars.
There is nothing subtle about the pain I feel. It is not boring. It is sharp, like an angry mouth, violently holds me under control. What makes this piercing sadness are still confusing the gifts that accompany it. My sadness is a dark. Sometimes it is dense andsticky. But it seems by the kindness of friends and strangers, like the reflection of thousands, and amazing rainbows. I am pierced with pain, but not overcome.
People were wonderful, my family and me. The police, especially the lead detective - whose sensitivity, conscientiousness and openness gives me an appreciation of the person and the work involved in a criminal investigation, the District Attorney - his empathy, commitment and understanding of theDetails impressed and encouraged me, and informed the victim-witness supervisor - whose generosity of spirit and wise and comforts me. These people who were together with many others, with me in a way that I can only describe pastoral. Again and again I am confronted and comforted by the compassion and the transforming power of community experience.
Nevertheless, I have continued with my personal struggle, as pain is part of the local news. It is to be frighteningFaced with the tragedy of my family, as it appears on the evening news and in newspapers. It confirms the nightmare and the pain increased in a peculiar way. Of course we are not unique - either in what we do, or, as we are experiencing. I think that is from this experience, a greater compassion for others is forged, even as my faith deepened and strengthened. For, as the Psalmist, I can through my tears that bear witness, "In my heart of Godfamiliar. "
For years I've wondered how news anchors can then those devastations caused by war, famine, floods, earthquakes, all kinds of violence - domestic, street, Teen, Gang go on and tell us the notes of the days' sports, and finally the weather report. I have always experienced a degree of incomprehension. As it has deepened. And yet, because of the "reporting" Anne's "disappearance" have people come and help us to offervaluable information. I am of the African proverb, "For reasons of recalls watered the rose is the thorn." To me, watching the news, as the irrigation of thorns, for the benefit of the rose.
Further, the legal system, with its emphasis on the rights of the accused is the same. to suffer the "victim's" family and friends continue, as the defendant "is presumed innocent." In accordance with due process, it does not matter that the evidenceHeart-wrenchingly clear. James' parents (and other) rights remain intact. My family and I watch as the mother of murder suspect granted temporary custody of Chelsey, my niece's daughter. I can see how waiting for Thorn Thorn Dorn and watered in this endless season of anxiety, such as the judiciary raised fighting, fighting, bloom at some point.
These days, nothing seems so deep, so mysterious, so invigorating and necessary, as in the company of those whotake away knowing the folly of the attempt, the pain, because they know in their, they have been present with my family and me. They have not only us, if their particular expertise, but courageously shared their vulnerability, which has strengthened and encouraged me. Because others have succeeded, to feel this pain in their hearts, they take with my family and me in our struggle. Although we are thrust into a system had been completely unknown to us, we are notalone.
And I am convinced that we need each other again, that I need the diverse community, with whom I am blessed. Next, for the friendliness of people (me till then unknown), serving in agencies and departments that are simply "work" immeasurably strengthened and encouraged me all the more I want to be friendly. I have a small sign on my wall at work. There is a quote from Jack Kornfield taken from book, Buddha's Little Instruction Book. He says,"Life is as hard as we can be anything but friendly?"
What could de-humanization has become a re-humanization of the experience, with new hope arises from despair, and I've often been struck by bone-dry fatigue on smooth, new energy. May we this in and of each other, were at turns as you need. May we be brave enough to give and receive - that is experiencing the gift of community, made the power of love real, and the preservation of God's presence madepalpable.
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